What I Wish I Knew: A Letter to My Past Self

Looking back at a version of yourself from five or ten years ago is a bit like watching a movie where you want to scream at the screen to warn the protagonist. When it comes to mental health, that “protagonist” was often exhausted, confused, and doing their absolute best with very limited tools.

If I could sit down for coffee with the me of 2016 (or even 2021), here is what I would tell them. If you’re currently in the thick of your own journey, perhaps these reflections will resonate with you, too.

1. It’s Not a Linear Climb

I used to think of “getting better” like climbing a mountain. Once you reach a certain height, you’re safe. In reality, mental health is more like the ocean. Some days the tide is out, and everything is calm; other days, a storm rolls in.

The lesson: A “bad day” doesn’t mean you’ve lost all your progress. It just means the weather changed.

2. You Can’t “Think” Your Way Out of a Feeling

I spent years trying to use logic to defeat anxiety. I’d tell myself, “There is no reason to feel this way,” as if my brain would suddenly go, “Oh, you’re right! My bad!” and stop the panic.

The lesson: Emotions live in the body, not just the head. Sometimes you don’t need a solution; you just need a deep breath, a walk, or a glass of water.

3. Boundaries are a Form of Healthcare

Ten years ago, I thought being a “good person” meant saying yes to everything until I was burnt to a crisp. I felt guilty for needing space or saying no to social events that drained me.

The lesson: Protecting your peace isn’t selfish. The people who truly love you will respect your “no.”

4. Professional Help is an Investment, Not a Failure

There’s a lingering stigma that going to therapy or taking medication is a “last resort” for when you’ve failed to handle things on your own.

The lesson: You wouldn’t try to fix a broken arm by just “thinking positively.” Mental health is health. Period. Seeking professional support is the bravest thing you can do for your future self.

My “Cheat Sheet” for the Hard Days

If I could give my past self a tiny card to keep in their pocket, it would look like this:

Instead of…	Try…
Judging the emotion	Noticing the emotion
Isolating until you’re “better”	Reaching out to one safe person
Aiming for perfection	Aiming for “good enough”
Comparing your interior to others’ exterior	Focusing on your own pace

A Final Thought

If you’re looking back at your own journey and feeling regret for “lost time,” please be kind to yourself. You didn’t know then what you know now. You were surviving, and survival is a massive achievement in itself.

To the version of me from a decade ago: Thank you for hanging in there. It was worth it.

What about you?

If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing about mental health, what would it be? Let’s start a conversation in the comments below.